cant find no one better than him...

Someone i'll never forget and will always be in my heart and soul.
Once, The bestest friend, the most-honest being, the most loving& loyal boyfriend.
Forever, my most sweet and treasured memory and moments.

I would never lie that i still havent move on till this day. I dont understand how 'some' people can just fall in and out of love so easily. Its like it dont matter to them that others, actually has emotions. Dont they ever give a second thought on how this may actually affect them in the future. That people may not take them seriously because, it is a small small world afterall, right?

To be honest maybe i cant move on is because i dont want to. I can never find anyone better than him, well, at least yet. Yes, i can fall in love with someone, but the love i dedicated to Helmy, will never be as strong and passionate to someone else. Because frankly, no one deserves it yet. I still remember when everyone says, " Asal la kau dapat laki semue name start dari H?! Tapi semue compatible tuk ko. Fated peeee cb!" hahahahaha. Funny, how i actually believe in that. Yes, i did.

I just miss having someone so honest and loyal with me. Someone who would sacrifice everything to be with me most of the time. Someone who doesnt share his unique love with others but only showers it on me. Can i find anyone better than him? No, not at least yet that i know of. Period!

Oh well, meeting my baybee toncet girl soon. Fetching her at j.e after her work and we gonna talk bout some important stuffs. heheheheheh! Gossip girls...i miss em. But i need to go bbdc soon to top up. Wish someone were t accompany me. Hai... Okay chaox. :)

Its a misery business.

Second chances they don't ever matter

People never change
Once a whore, you're nothing more
I'm sorry, that'll never change

And about forgiveness

We're both supposed to have exchanged
I'm sorry honey but I'm passing up
Now look this way

Well there's a million other girls
Who do it just like you
Looking as innocent as possible
To get to who

They want and what they like
It's easy if you do it right
Well I refuse, I refuse, I refuse

All we know is falling...

Yes, i'm finally back! After a longgggg time yes? lol! That's cause lappy just came back from the docs. :)
So an update of what has happen this past days, week maybe...
Days have gotten worse even when i try to look on the brighter side. It wont work pretendin' most of the time. I know you wont come back to cure all the pain im going thru and to clear the mess in my life like you used to. I came pleading but you wouldnt listen. Im just not used to having to cry alone and stand up with you holding me thru. Just wish you'd come back home, but i know you wont again. Im sorry and Dido misses you each time kissed him goodnight. People are so mean to me nowdays and i dont feel i belong anywhere. :(((

Right now, i dont really believe in true love anymore, not anytime soon. Its a game to everyone anyway right? Even if we hoped for it to be true, behind all truths, there's always a lie. And despite knowing he lie, we ought to keep quiet afraid to loose the hope. The little hope we put in, hoping for it to grow atleast a little bigger. But when i know... after everything, i will end up loosing everything. So why do i keep holding on? Blame it on hope.

And to whom this may concern,
I'm sorry and i really dont wish for it to be this way. You're someone i really would not like to loose as a friend. I just hope one day you'd see that im not that bad you see me to be. Sorry.

saket head

Aku feeling really sleepy now. Hahahaha! After work fetch aku peh Heart from home to work. Best dapat hug die dpt kiss die dpt tengok muke cute die, peh aku miss ah tu. Lol, why the fuck am i talking like this?! Like shiok like that uh cheeeebi.

Okay so im at home now, just ate Mc Spicy for lunch. Waiting for time to pass till 5.30pm till i meet Hakimmmmmmm! Tapi SP near so ok can. lol. Aku know aku cam cb now talk like this cause aku bored and feeling lame. -.-''' Tomorrow's Friday and gotta head to BBDC rumah again. haiiiya! Oh, and im thinking for converting to a full-timer at work. At least i can save half the pay for my bike later on. This gets fucking stress at times. Oh wells... All by meself somemoreee fuck!
My retaking O's is around the corner and i swear i need to rush things up!!! More lucks for me please? :)))

Okay bye.

Riding dirty

Just finish talking otf with my gangsta boy. :))) Only God knows how much the call means to me. Hush hush, only mine to feel. (bhsvIjsbsLOhbshbsVEhbsvYOU!)

Today was fine. Woke up early morn met Hakim eat breakfast at LJ! hahahaha! Work was boring and Husaini fetched me after work today and went Yishun lepakz! Hahahaha, needed that after work. Thank you. hehe! Made new friends, yayyyy! Get well soon okay? And i'll see you soon. :) Gonna meet my girl tomorrow, i miss her so much! Gosh got TL on Friday lazy!

Hmmmm been thinking alot bout what Aisyah and my mom says/advice. Maybe i shld just move on and dont look back. There's no use holding on and holding on to the memories and empty promises. Not a single text or call for a week? I think thats enough to make me realise maybe you just want to end the friendship this way. Its time to move on i guess? yeah. I wont wait, i wont hope, i wont turn back, i wont expect anything from you..anymore. You want me, come find me. Other than that, all the best H. :)

Okay, i think im crazy. Keep checking my HP for his goodnight message. Cheeeeebi aku.

okay nights belos. xxo

thinking of you.

Im lost now, so where do i go? ;(((

Krazzzzzzzy

@ my girl's crib now! yeah crashing here for the night cause aunty and uncle go Malaysia. Time to stress release and be krazzzzzzy! hehehehehe. Met my new bbdc friend, Hakim, for lunch today and than lepak at my hometown. Lepak2 till fall asleep awhile can! Took so many pics with his hp cam, i swear im bad with cameras. Cinfirm banyak amek punye. hehehehe ok lame.

Met my lovely gangsta boy which after and im so sorry darling im super late. Really thought you were still asleep and i just wanted you to rest. I love you alright? :) But im glad we got to spent gooooood time together. Wish it was longer, just wish the night didnt end so fast where you had to go meet your boys. We'll meet very soon yes? Yes. Waiting for your call/text now, now that its flat i guess. xoxo for you A! <3

Okay im hungry and Aisyah just cooked for my tomyam maggie, thanks baby! Tired after webcam! Okay bye cheebyes.

release me, release my body

Glad that i woke up early this morning tho i only feel asleep at 3am yesterday and successfully attended my BTL. Class was boring and i almost fell zzzzzzz! But was glad i made one new friend. :) Guess what?! Being me, i left my HP outside the class and just went in without turning back to check like i'll always do. Careless ah careless!! Lucky, one blessed soul came up to me and pass my phone in my face. And i was like, "ehhh thanks." Didnt know how to fucking react, cheeebi paisey bodoh aku. Hahahahah! So decided to thank him after lesson and yeah so we hang out after that before i had to head up to work, you know the intros and all. Nice guy, and i wasnt too surprised he was A friend!!!!! Face so familiar skali really him. hahahaha, oh what a small small world. lol! :P

Okay, so H still decides to ignore me, probably hates me by now for im not quite sure the reason is. I think im just gonna keep my mind on much more healthier stuffs. Im making my own move, see ya buddy! If this is what he chooses, by means, i'll pray i'll be fine with it. Chins up Diia! :)) Just glad and looking forward to meeting my gangsta boy tomorrow since im off! yayyyyy, imysm A.

There's no use being too nice, so why the fuck should i care now that you dont. Because ive got a heart! HA, hahaha. xoxo, kiss ass. imy tho. bye fuckeder.

My healer...

This wound is still fresh and it pains everytime i have my day-dreaming. Everyone would know where my mind has gone to and it pains them to see me cry inside. But when than you came back into my life, i'm actually healing, slowly. Though it would take quite sometime, im sure you'll be here to heal me all the way. 6 months have been long time since we've gone, but im sure during that period you had someone to cover my place. And its my apologies. But i've always knew, secretly, you'd come along some time. And i wasnt wrong at all. Now that you're here to stay, i wanna tell you, i'll follow you. I think, i've given my chance to open up my heart to someone new, someone not so new, someone to love. We all we young once, we all make mistakes, and im sure i'll understand and forget what complications that have happened between us the last 6 months. I'm willing to change you darling when you actually came up to me personally, asking for me help, asking me to help you become a better man. Rest assured A, i'm here to stay remember? I wont promised forever, and i wont know how long, but all i know i want to stay with you now and make it last forever. I dont want this moment to ever end. I wont hope, but this time, i'll have a little faith and let it grow...

I want you to know

With everything I won't let this go, these words are my heart and soul
I'll hold on to this moment you know, as I bleed my heart out to show
And I won't let go

Sincerely, Diia.

ccb

Fuck the taxi this morning! cheeeebi ahhhh. At my girl's home now, need to talk some important stuffs. Tau, aku tak habis abis stress ade prob gile babs! Hhahahaha. Got work later at 6pm on a saturday like chiao chee biiiiiii. Waiting for someone to wake up, imy. Oh well, ntn to blog today.

get fucked up well

Zzzzzzzzzz! Haven slept since yesterday and im not that tired but my eyes are giving up, there's finally starting to shut down! Could barely open my eyes at work today and i think i just served the MSP oh lols.

Yesterday was fuckingly awesomely great. So my girl and some others who actually cares about my feelings and how i roll my life says, Its time i let go cause i deserve to be treated soooo much better! :)) And i finally open up my heart to the one person whom i had thought wrong about all along. And this time im on the right track. Take this slow... :)

okay bye peepssss ive got to do some texting! chaox.

After all, we are only humans...

Home with my girl now @ my crib. Met her after work today and head to BBDC to attend for my briefing. HEHEHEEHE! Yayyyy my first PT1.01 is this Sat and my BT is on the next day. :))) Mom and sis are away for a couple of days and i'd take this time to have my alone time. Imma grown up kiddo ready i feel that there's no need to babysitting just because no one's at home. I'm staying home! I want time by myself or maybe with someone like Aisyah. i love you girl. <3

Happy 34th H! Hope youre fine and doing good. youre always someone to me. :)

Its funny how people change so quickly. Oh wells... Heading out to Lucky for pool and some punches in the evening later with my girl. I'll feel much better, i know i will. hehehehe! No boys just girls only!

This is coming from the M language, "Peh laki letak tepi ah. Kite kite pompan rock je bole make it. Tak mati pe tak jadi sundal dorang hahaha! peh mulat aku rembat siol ko. laki tak perlu uang masa aje beb hahaha. nak pompan je okay? HAHAHAHA. ko diam biatcccccch!" hahahaha cheeeebi sak. okay stop nahhhhhh,

okay xoxo babi.

This fool.

Today was one of the good time spent of my Monday. hahahaha! Work was hardworking today. Hurt myself whle doing VM. Carrying all those heavy metal bars and guess what, Sales coming again! OMG, MS sales are so god damn rocking! the prices of all the clothes i used to adore marked down till so lowwwww. Eg; like 49$, now: 19$ ONLY!! So do drop by MS Paragon okay? Say hi to the clothes, or me. HEHEHEHE!
After work was good time spent. :))) After 6 months, i finally met my old-time sweet gangsta boy? Sounds cute and secret this way. hehehehe... Will remain a secret from others/public i think? Cause its safer this way, i feel. However, i feel sooooo much happier and better after meeting you whoever! Thank you very much. And i made a new friend today and he is as sweet as his face. :))

Okay i am happy at home today. Talked well with mom and sis today. Its hard nowdays idk why but tonight was good. :)) And i am super happy, i finally had the courage to tell mom im gonna tak my bike. hahahaha! I know all mom would be worried but i'd be safe. Rest assured mama love ok? :)) Enrolling tomorrow after work. And i'd be meeting my girl or hopefully maybe my gangsta boy? hehe :))

Pic from DblO previously;

the rest in FB! Hahaha, i love my party people. :))

yakyakyak

Its almost 4 and im still at home waiting for someone to wake up or maybe he just cant be bothered. hahahaha! yes, just waiting. not hoping or anything. i think ill wait for Aisyah to finish school and meet her after that for dinner or what. lol! byes...

I'll call you when im sober.

Back from work bout an hour ago. Was drizzling in the evening when i stepped in to work, and with Paragon's air-con, i swear it was like freezer in there. But i loved the chilly feeling when i go out to the open to fag. The adreneline rush...

Met Aisyah before work because i desperately needed my pain-killer just now. Yes, her. Thank you darling; never fail to cheer me up. :)) I think its due time i take your advice darling. You'll help me right? Cause you know its hard for me to do like 'that'. Like pretend i dont care bout them. Hahahah! Weak ah weak. loll! I'll manage however. Right Diia? Yes, chins up missy!

Currently i dont really believe in faith and hope. Sad, so do i actually fail myself as an ex-IJ girl? Oh fuck yes, who gives a fucking shit huh!

okbye.

Could it be... that the grass is always green.

Okay, i ditched work today. Was too exhausted from yesterday's event & studying! hehehehe... Which of cos dragged till in the early morning. Plus, i fucking loss my voice right after the party. Must have been drinking too much, the heaty-ness burned my already sore throat. hahahah! clever, i know. -.-'''
Flu and cough is not getting any better tho...sucks. Went along with two of Aisyah's friend. So yay!, i met new people. Lovely boys, wink wink! :p hehehehe... Powerhouse is invaded with alot of ugly and weird Chinese! Sorry, but no offence ya. Ha, haha ha.
So H is not meeting me today, again! Like i predicted he'd ditched me...tired already luhh. hoho! But i didnt mind tho, i have my girl. :)) Okay, i hope to see some people tonight. Have a nice day!

xoxo, diia.