This is no more a misunderstanding. Its a first class joke.

May's a few hours away and this thought of the month May coming... it shudders me. Not anything bad but, wow. I did'nt actually realise to keep track of the time that passes by. I'm getting older every second that passes by and that's good and bad and all but i haven't really achieve much i must say. Education wise i meant. It's important i wont deny. The fact of having to waste another year to retake the papers sucks. The fact that school's up next year(if i qualify), is worst. Oh, shall i say i'll give this future stressing qualification thingy a pause! Not all thing is this world have to do with papers. Some people in this life seems to be doing well, even without school. Maybe they have good luck on thier side. I pray i do. HEEE heh~

Today at work was mundane. Was secretly wishing time to fast forward for me until the part where boyfriend fetch me from work. However, Is came in and cause a din with our uncontrollable laughters. I was stressing him about how to make my eyes look bigger since i wont deny they are small. He could'nt agree more with me. -.-''' Thanks Is! ugh. He gave me a smokey eyes make-over which i made me felt i belonged to the fashion world. Dramaaaaaa... hehehehe! Work is always fun with that boy well err her? hehehhee. Love love!

The short time spent with my boyfriend was never surprising lovely. Love having him by my side. Come to a thought, we're like magnets. You know like north-south poles. Hehehehe cheekky! We finally finished the worst habits. "Between us okay hon!" I love you. Too bad i had to let him return to his mom by 9pm. Some family time together, AGAIN! No... im not the possessive gf over bf over his mom. Just well i cant say this but i'll force this out from me. Just ermmmm nonsensically jealous of the fact. okay shuts.

Oh! Criminal minds on tv now. Gtg byeeeeee...

...

imy.

Ditched work today. i guessed im too tired. Met my boyfriend yesterday night after work and im glad i killed my cravings for his hugs and kisses. I know, you can call Us the clingy type. Hehe.
Today, is family day. Going to grandma's place soon in the afternoon and meeting mom after her work. Boyfriend is working today and i already miss him.

I've been pondering to get a new job with higher pay. Gosh! hehehehehe... And i miss school life.

Shake-egg your head sha-ake-ake your head

Im gonna sum uppp this week; Back-break-in-in' fuck! Hehehehe, it aint so bad as it sounds no? First part of the week was potentially depressed? So it got better... Saturday was 'Girls wanna have fun' Party @ Miss Selfridge PGN. Almost broke my back serving the 'woah' amount of customers! Lucky my shift ended at 7 night. Met Ayid after work with the rest of the boys(yay new friends!) since my boy wanted to stay home like a goodie, up for his test. Drank Chivas @ taka garden. Ooops... i had a lil too much! Took the almost last bus alone, tipsy! Gosh i could only imagine how i'd managed? But of cos, i missed my stop which lead me all the way to the interchange and had to walk home alone like a drunk bitch. But i got a hang of myself. dude?! I'm cool okay? fuck. HAHAHA!! Got a hang-over in the morning and i had to force myself to wake up for work this morning... Working time flew pass fast, thank God! And Zac still owe me my Minnie mouse drawing, thanks to Is, he just had to doodle-destroy on Zac's art specially made for me! I think. Ahuehuehue...Love love the Ben Sherman's boys! And my Miss S's girls,(excluding the supervisor!).

And another bummer, I think i need a make over!!! Fuck, been too busy to pamper myself or should i say manage myself?! I think i look like a slacker nowdays...shitxz! Dont even have the mood to put proper make up for work. Who cares how i look like right? UGH. Cant wait for the 7th. Time please fast forward for me? not gonna happen, i know so shut up bitch. And i need to download more songs...random!

De sir e

'He's like an addiction. Like a bad bad habit. Like a taste i can never stop craving for. Like it lingers...just calling my name. Like a prayer...'

I'm hooked onto the feeling. I like its hallucination, the numbness. The world- seems like its spinning fast. No, its just my head. Its a private time for myself, And only with him. But its bad and i should never try again, unless i want to remind myself of the feeling. His promise... i must remember.

Like a personal drug;

2006;

2009;

Please stay, don't go. I love you...

We can make it right...

Bummed. Im quite exhausted. My eyes lids kindda hurt for some reasons today but nevertheless, i had much fun today with Helms and Aisyah celebrating Aisyah's 18th. hehehehe... Glad you loved it girl, we love you!

So i haven been doin too good this week. I took alot of punches in the back and smack in the face! It dont matter now anyway, cause everything has been put back in pieces. But know, no one can feel better anytime soon when too many 'things' are being shoved in. Knowing what i did just in the act of care and love and concern, have ALL been taken negatively. What's the point of being nice right? When all you get in return is breaking you down and tearing your heart apart. It hurts too much but this is life. It'll learn to heal by itself. Just not sure how fast it'll take. And that's a nightmare- insanity. Rest assured, i'm okay. Im just thankful i have my boyfriend with me...

I wont turn to bad habits tho i know that'll be the fastest way to a short-term healing potion. Because a promise is a promise. Unless we were to break the promise together and than mend it again, together.

No matter how much this dear one have hurt me with her/his words and actions, i love you. I know ive hurt you before and now its your turn for revenge. You have succeed. Therefore, we're even now. I love you...

I wanna dance another dis-co lights.

I can feel the exhaustion this few days back. Not really in the mood to entertain anyone---but, i'm still the friendly me. hehe... Sadly, i haven't been spending much time at home/with my family. Been busy with work, revision & my fantasy. Yes, im glad i'm kept busy by these- thankful actually. Its just a good-distraction i'd always look forward to at anytime of the day, so not to remind me of how pathetic i had been the past 2 years & cheat time! Many times---i'm still being reminded of that still. But i cant dwell on it right? On the fact that they will always worry for me, no matter how polite i try to convey the message for them not to be. I decided, i'm giving up trying to remind them. They care, and i wont stop them. :)

This week is going sweet, i'm contented. Helms bought me my Eclipse- as promised, as a gift. Thank you. And i bought myself Twilight at the same time, just a different purchase. Tho it wasn't planned. Guess my fantasy wont end soon? hahaha. I noticed im keeping my pace slow this time. I think its the fact that i'm afraid not having to find another fantasy once this particular beautiful one, ends. I'd have to step back into reality. Nightmare- no more cheating time. :( But i guess i'll manage, like always. New Moon's ending... oh man.

And this would be random. How long does it take for hair to grow?! Mine's taking ages!! Grrrrr...

Its a long-term sickness...

My head feels heavy tonight. Maybe i'd blame it not the ----- not quite sure myself.
I've been too indulge in the fantastic fantasy i'd sometimes imagine myself to be in. However my inner voice sometimes growled to myself like, "Oh come on?! Its just a freakin' book." But it inspires me... Its simply beautiful ----- some parts of it. And come to think of it, i'd sometimes rush myself to return to the fantasy. Its like a 'place' or thing i'd turn to in case of anything i dont want to give my attention to.

Another, work's been bugging me too. The people. No, i shall correct this. One person. Yes, the same one i've been complaining about the first one. I had hoped she got better as the days grew longer; my days there. But she got worst- kinda. I wish i could bitchslap her or punch? Noooo.. i'd like to imagine to do worst. If only, only. I'm gonna be here long ----- i dont wish so, but my current situation forbids me. Ok cut!!

Helmy's gonna go shopping with me soon. I'm looking forward to it, very much. And yes, we're gonna get Eclipse at kino or popular, together. :) My girl's turning 18 soon. Its good to recollect how fast we both grew up together. All those good childhood memories...i wish to experience them again. Everything's different now. We're all grown up. Sometimes, this thought scares me. It always does, its a fear that i know, any day, just maybe tomorrow?, it could just hit me. But this was something i could'nt let myself to avoid. I'd have to live with it, willingly.
Like you know, " Live life to the fullest..."

Mathematics.

Okay i'm starting to sweat. All ready, and finally!, i'm heading out with my girls today! HAha... I'm trying to remember whens the last time i met them up. About a month ago? lol. I miss Rach and Cheng. Too bad they're starting school soon and i guess i'll be working my ass off and studying and the same time. Happy enough. At least, i've got cash on my back.

So the week's been great. Well most part of it... Been dividing my time well to work, studies, past-time, bestfriend and boyfriend. Bumped into and catched up with a couple of missed-people during the weekends and got me loosen up my stress- just a lil bit.

He fetched me after work yesterday and went a lil shopping. And both of us got something for ourselves. Both. This time the attention wasnt whole-ly on me, nor on him. On us. Good thing. :)
Bought myself a pair of jeans from f21 and came to realise that cheap jeans actually fits BETTER. much much better and nicer. And i finally killed my craving for smoothie yesterday night. And my boy? Always with his banana split! Grrr. I love you.

Okay, i'm signing off. See anyone outside! xxo.

New adventure...

Hello. This few days have been good. Well, umm, better. Yeah. Bought a few necessary things after the 7th. :) And finally!, I bought my storybook from kinokuniya. This one temptation, i just cant seem to give in! Hehehehe... Now, i got myself hoked onto it. Which is a numb thing tho. But i gotta put my revision first--- priority.

Stephanie Meyer's books are addictive. Well, New Moon is not as innocent as Twilight. Bella is such a complicated girl at times. But Edward as his usual self, is always as calm as ever, as i have known or remembered in Twilight. Seems comparable to my relationship now? Hahaha, maybe a little... HAHA!
Oh well, im off to continue reading now... xoxo.

Chin's up missy, chin's up... ^ _ ^v

Ok, I just checked my email and the appeal letter i sent in to RP got rejected. Well...i'm giving up. NO..not giving up on my life or education. Just giving up on trying to slot myself in any poly knowing chances are slim. Hehehe!, actually i'm quite glad i didnt get thru the appeal cause if not it would have been in an engineering course. I'm not into that.
So this year's goal, hahaha i know its quite late for a resolution. Lol. Anyway...

1. Stick with my current job and save up for future's usage/need. OR if a better job(if i can find one).

2. Study and revise on my 2 'O' level subjects that i'm retaking.

3. Save $3250++ by March '10.

4. Score B3-B4 for Science & B3-C5 for Maths.

5. Make more girl friends. :)

6. Make mama proud. hehehe...

7. Loose 6kg by July. (hahahaha, ish i never talk bought loosing weight sia!)

8. Be happy and enjoy life...


The above 2009 resolution in not accordingly.

This post is just- venting my anger.

Szupp! Been fucking busy caught up in this chaos. This chaos is fuck'd up retarded. Almost everybody is fucking with my mind and my brains feels like uhh feels like like like uh like fucking bursting! My temper fucking blew yesterday night. A million curses, a billion tears. A full blasted fucking fed-up angry kid. Even the most patient being, one day just one day, will blow blow blow, blow like a bomb blow. Its a dumb thing dont you think? Who the fuck can or shall i say will take lots of fucking fuck pokings and pricking. So.. NO its not a fucking dumb thing you dumb dumb dumb uhh dumb fuck! This post i swear is fucking vulgar. And yes in actual i can get this fucking vulgar BUT no i dont usually show this fucking vulgar side of me. Who the fuck does? People say lots of this when they fucking had it up till HERE. No not here. Here. Or they just feel like it at fucking times. HA, ha! Orrrr, unless you seriously have a fucking retarded habit of saying fuck 24/7 of your life than i must feel fucking sorry for you fucker. You need fucking speech counselling. Oh fucking sins damn the fucking habits. This is fucking going no where. I just feel much better after writing this fucking post fucker! L-o-l.
Ok bye fuckers!

Pa ram ore I adore.

Hayley Williams(!!!)

Awwwwww what a sweetheart right? She's not pretty nor beautiful to me, but she's soooooo adorable, her face...! I'm in love with her voice AGAIN! -.- hehehehe... Love love her band too. Please come to Sg? hehh! Oh well, been pluggin' in to her voice nowdays. Her songs keeps me motivated and emotional(at times). Idk why also? lol.

xoxoo.

Wishng on a star

First, i wanna thanks everyone who has been behind me all the way. Mom, sis, boyfriend, aisyah and last and not least Rachel baby! Thanks you guys, xoxo okay?! love yall.

I cant wait for the 7th yawwwww! HAHAHAHAHA, most should know right! I've been busy working. And i need to start my revision all over again! But its okay. Heh, ohhhhh i need my fun back! miss miss. :(